OK, I was going to write some more informative material on serious issues this week, but then I found this HGTV CELEBRITY HOMES FOR SALE article. All I can say is….uhm, wow! I had to share. I’m wondering how they even find each other in these places. Or maybe they don’t want to.
10. J.K. SIMMONS:
OK, this house isn’t too ridiculous so I gave it number 10. I actually am not that familiar with this celebrity but his house is a reasonable 4,000 square foot home offered for $1.775 million (*note: still four times larger than mine) in the Hollywood Hills. It’s next door to Pussycat Dolls singer Nicole Scherzinger. Yep. Location, location, location.
9. RON WHITE:
Ron White’s home has views near San Ysidro Ranch. Lots of views. And it’s Spanish-style. No kidding. I really have nothing bad to say about Ron’s house except it’s a THREE bedroom home priced at $3,595,000 which seems pretty ridiculous. He gets a 9 for that.
8. BARRY MANILOW
Barry has the primo location in Malibu on the beach. That seems about right! One can lounge anywhere on the beach or overlook the ocean from his living room, all while listening to “Copacabana”. He’s selling for $10.9 million, down from $12.6 million. Downside, this house only has four bedrooms….so you’re paying thousands a day for the views. Kind of ridiculous and comes in at an 8 because it’s in Malibu.
7. RYAN CABRERA (AKA ASHLEY SIMPSON’S EX)
All I can say here is, poor kid! Sounds like he got himself into a right mess. He’s short-selling his house for $1.1 million. This is an example of young people making ridiculous decisions. He’s desperate to get out after painting all the rooms a different garish color. The house boasts a pink living room, black bedroom, blue music room…it’s like a teenager went nuts in there. He has a cool outdoor kitchen though, which will be handy if they lock him out of the house, I guess.
6. JOAN RIVERS
Joan Rivers has good taste! (Not class mind you. Taste. They are different.) But that's why we love her. Hers is a prewar penthouse in New York City. It’s a “classical revivalist” design completely restored by Joan to its original glory. That’s actually a nice change these days. It’s 5,190 Square Feet (humungous for a penthouse!!) and of course has great style, views and location. For $25 million. That’s a really ridiculous big penthouse.
5. LANCE ARMSTRONG
First off, Lance Armstrong has a 447 acre ranch with trails outside of Austin, TX. So, that already makes a completely different impression since Lance’s house is really about the land and the lake of clean, private water he has access to. Apparently, Lance is a smart guy and has figured out that clean water is important. Whoever buys this is making a very wise investment indeed. The house is a nice, reasonable 5 bedroom. And it has great views and features. But 447 acres is still pretty ridiculous for one person. He’s selling for $12 million which actually seems logical for a 447 acre ranch with a private lake.
4. RICKY MARTIN:
Ricky actually sold his house three years ago for a cool $15 million. Now it’s back-on-market for $26.9 million. Go figure, I thought housing prices had declined! This was originally a 9,000 square foot (!) house owned by an heiress and then by Michael Caine. The 9,000 Square Foot home was demolished and rebuilt with 12 bathrooms, gym and tennis courts. Twelve bathrooms….wow, that’s a lot of mirrors.
3. BEN STILLER:
Ben Stiller has THREE HOUSES on his lot that he is trying to sell. OK, one is a guest house. But still, c'mon guys. He originally bought his home as a six-bedroom house, then bought two more adjacent lots and put two more houses on them. I suppose he was hoping to house all of LA’s migrant workers here? The price is mentioned on Zillow.com as $12.5 million.
2. MEL GIBSON
Mel can’t sell! Mel’s comes in as the second most ridiculous house. He started his price out at $39 MILLION!!! Oh, now it’s down to $29.75 Million. What a bargain. Actually, not to knock the house as it’s a Tudor-inspired mansion custom built in 1926. But, it’s still ridiculous at 15,800 Square Feet with 15 bedrooms and 18 baths, great halls, gallery, and a “walk-in fireplace” (what??). It has its own maze and a log cabin. Kind of appropriate, yeah? I don’t need to say anything about the “staff houses” on the property…
1. 50 CENT:
AND THE NUMBER ONE RIDICULOUS HOUSE GOES TO 50 CENT. He listed this for $18.5 million in 2007 and now it’s at $10.9 million. He rarely uses it, although he felt the need to change the house number to 50 of course. OK, here’s the scoop: 21 bedrooms, 25 bathrooms, private lake with gazebo, indoor/outdoor pool, gym and theater in 48,000 SQUARE FEET OF LIVING SPACE!!! That deserves….a big fat “I’M SHOCKED” GASP. You could fit 48 homes in his house. Forty-eight!!
Well, there you have it: The top ten celebrity homes for sale, in order of ridiculousness. After reading something like this, it may be wise to just turn off the E! network for a while….and try not to think too much about what we just saw.
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